Today is my birthday. After a long night of complicated, sinister, and just plain bad dreams, I gratefully opened my eyes to the waking world and was welcomed back into it with affection, happiness, and warmth on a chilly morning. That is the way to start a birthday. Or any day. Every day!
The amount of gratitude I have for life lately is astounding. The default mood is unabashed happiness. Dare I call it joy, even? There was so much energy in my body on the walk to work this morning that I actually ran for a block just for the fun of it. Do you remember that Friends episode when Phoebe does her spastic run, arms and legs flailing, through the park just because it’s fun? That’s totally what I felt like doing this morning.
Gratitude and happiness and love and excitement are all swirling around in my body, a quartet of feeling with such centrifugal force it comes spilling out in spontaneous laughter and happy tears. Yeah, hormones may be playing a part here, I confess. I get weepy reading emails from friends. I want to hug and kiss my friend MF every time I see her to maybe infuse her with some of my blissful overflow and also just because I love her. I get teary looking at my brave little Christmas tree, small and bright perched on my Grandmother’s table, which then makes me melt into a pool of nostalgic love for Ga-Ga. I get teary writing what I just wrote! I’m a mess of happy feelings and PMS is not getting all the credit this time.
What is the point of this blog post? I have no idea. Maybe it was just to get today’s thoughts out of my head and into the internet world, and the world in general as I take stock of what is to come. This next year looks extremely exciting; I foresee a lot of change on my life, change that is overdue and change that is welcome. New phases in career are already showing up. New ideas and configurations of family are poised for definition in the coming months. And it all begins with two tickets to paradise that will whisk us away to an island of sun where, perched by a turquoise crescent of water, we will unwind and begin 2013. And yes, that makes me weepy as well.
My coffee mug today has a Jane Austen quote on it that reads “How shall I bear so much happiness?” Well, Jane, with gratitude and some weeping, apparently.
Cheers to that.