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Dear David Sedaris,

You are Wonder Full.

Your family is my new Glass family with flair. I mean, don’t get me wrong,  I worship the Glass family. When the day is perfect it’s always for Banana Fish, in my world (minus the gun in the hotel room). They, the Glass family, and their patriarch (J.D.) are intelligent and have inspired a couple of generations of writers.  These things we know.

The Glass family know the proper placement of “God Damn”  within a family confrontation or just passing on the street and how to mix a Tom Collins, but they lack a Christmas Whore.  They’re so serious, those intellectual Glasses! Goddamn child geniuses, you can’t trust them an inch. But I’m torn. I understand their seriousness. I bow to it and yet the Sedaris temptation is great.

In the 21st century, we need more Christmas Whores in our midst. They can guide us, get us back to what’s important; the basics of life, laughter, vices, escaping from bad men…

And you, David, YOU are the creator of this new literary family and all it’s accoutrements.

I appreciate you and your family, David. You make your readers laugh with you, but at themselves mostly. Okay, and often AT you, but you make the big bad ugly world a pared down piece of  God damn silly putty that might actually be something we can deal with.

You’re silly and you’re honest within your writing even if it is fictional in places. Wait – is it honest? Is it fictional? Is it? Ah, who cares. Was Salinger’s work any different? Nah. I love Franny and Zooey. And the little man whom no one knew with the top hat in the hot and close funereal limo.  How could you not love him? Class within minutae. Today, he would have his own reality television show (let’s not even get started on what the title of that might be).

I love and look to David, Amy, Gretchen, Lisa and the Rooster for family salvation; my modern literary Glass family. Thanks for reinventing, being creative, and bringing a new family to the literary table. You’ve made my own family more bearable.

Come to dinner. We will make you a Tom Collins in a tall and frosty See More Glass.

Sincerely,

Miss Goddamn MoL

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