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New Year's Eve. 2010.


A family member suggested I use this photo on my blog and just her saying that made me want to write something here. Poor, neglected blog! Maybe that should be the new name for this blog.

I’ve been anticipating this New Year knowing that while things don’t change over night, 2010 would be OVER and ANYTHING would be possible upon the clean slate of 2011. A New Year could bring the sense of ease I have been craving.

That ease has not come yet and now I just feel plain guilty that I am not happy or at least eased, because really my life is quite good. The $$ coffers are full, work is satisfying and solid, family is healthy, friends are supportive and wonderful, I had a lovely birthday, etc. etc. So what’s the problem?

It’s that bloody broken heart whose Band-Aid busted off this week to spew forth self-pity and pouting episodes of epic proportions. Next time I should see a doctor for some stitches instead of trying to MacGyver a Band-Aid myself.

That bloody broken heart seems to color every other area of my life. And that makes me feel guilty. I want to acknowledge the blue sky and say, “Oh, how beautiful” and really mean it. But my heart just isn’t in it right now because it’s busy being broken.

I read my January horoscope (not that I really believe it, but it can be interesting) and even the astrologer acknowledged that Capricorns have been cosmically screwed by every single planet for the last 18 months or so. She suggested indulging in an expensive hotel because WE HAVE EARNED IT after the astrological flogging that has gone on lately. The good news is the planets are making up for their past nasty behavior and lining up in a most prosperous and happy way. At least for Capricorns.

I know this is a downer of a New Year post, but I just read another bloggers post that was so honest about her sadness at Christmas time, that I figured I’d be honest. Maybe there will be humor around the corner from this day, but right now all I can say is a broken heart sucks. It takes away the hopes and dreams that went along with the complete heart and leaves you with, or rather, without the person you thought you would be with forever.

How’s that for honest?

Here’s to honesty in 2011. And bigger Band-Aids. And rediscovering humor.

I hope you all are well and happy, striding into the bright and shining new year with smiles and dreams! I will be following shortly once Venus or whoever gets in line.

Miss MoL