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The dessert matched the table cloth.

There are no more parties on my social horizon that I can see at the moment. As the horizon gets closer, I’m sure more will appear, but for now they are finished. And blissfully so. This last one was the best one; a cheerful crowd, live performances, good food and great table companions. I took a two hour nap yesterday. I think I was tired.

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After this season of parties, I have learned a few things, so I thought I would share in case you ever find yourself caught in a stream of seemingly endless fiestas;

1. In the end it really doesn’t matter what you wear. Just be comfortable, while trying to adhere to the suggested attire guidelines.

2. If it’s a dinner party, you will be sitting for the majority of the time, so the more uncomfortable shoes will be just fine. If it’s a cocktail party, wear the more sensible height heels or you will have to artfully drape yourself across a settee whilst sipping your cocktail and maintaining coherent chit chat. If there is no settee you are screwed and your chit chat will be chitted through gritted teeth due to High Heels v. Gravity.

3. Always have a few dollars  to tip the valet. And always valet if you are wearing the aforementioned high heels.

4. Drink white wine. Speaking with someone whose teeth are grey from red wine is a distraction from the conversation. They may be revealing the location of the fountain of youth but all you “hear” is GREY TEETH GREY TEETH GREY TEETH.

5. Never underestimate your dinner table companions. They may not be what they appear – for better and worse. The non-descript, quiet woman I was seated next to the other night turned out to be a delightful conversationalist once approached as well as a world famous songwriter. Conversely, the obviously wealthy man who sparkled with social graces bored me to the point of becoming a party flight-risk.

6. “Society” parties throughout the summer are re-configurations of the same groups of people. It’s like high school. There are cliques. There are always the cool kids who sit at the “A” table even when they are in their 70s. So basically the social horrors of high school never f-ing end.

7. Parties are EXCELLENT opportunities for people watching and social observation to write about later.

8. If it is a dinner party chances are there will be candles on the table, which means dim lighting, which for me means BRING YOUR READING GLASSES SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT IS ON THE PROGRAM SO THAT YOU CAN EXPLAIN IT TO YOUR ELDERLY NEIGHBOR WHO HAS WORSE EYE-SIGHT THAN YOU DO.

9. Unless your date is willing to put all your crap in his suit pockets, dresses with pockets rule. Carrying a small purse and a glass of wine at the same time makes it difficult to shake hands with the fine folks.

10. If the party is on a lawn, wear a wedge heel or flats, because no matter how hard you try not to, you WILL end up aerating the lawn and possibly tip over backward when your spiked heels sink in deep.

And the clock struck...

Disclaimer: I didn’t pay for any of these parties. My attendance was purchased by my employer as an opportunity to socialize on the same level as our clients and deepen our “relationships” with them. I’m sure they just thought “What the Eff is she doing at all of our parties?”.

Also, Post Party Impressions is not to be confused with Post Partum Depression.

 

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