Soooo, I’m a little late writing this IN-THE-MIDDLE-OF-MY-SIX-WEEK-WORKOUT post. Partially because I got so burned out in week two I had to disappear from everything for a bit, and partially because sometimes I just get tired of the computer, you know?

To re-cap, by the middle of week two I was done. DONE! Working out that hard every day really took a toll on my body, but not because I was sore or injured, but because I was just TIRED. Seriously fatigued. All over. Like I was made of lead and the earth was a big magnet. So I backed off the workouts. After a five day breather and a reminder from my pilates instructor that I didn’t have to go EVERY day (To quote her, “Dude, what are you trying to win?”) I felt ready to return with a new attitude.

What WAS I trying to win? I was trying to win the workout game. I thought since I signed up for six weeks I’d better use as much of that six weeks as I could to work my ass off (yes, literally). But IT won instead. I felt defeated physically and emotionally. I had failed the work out game and none of my over the top expectations were going to come true.

After listening to my pilates instructor’s wise words, I decided that I would face week three with a new attitude; work out every OTHER day, don’t push myself quite so hard during the work out, take a breather now and then, set personal goals to do maybe one more push up than the time before, to breathe a lot more, and to really focus on the joy that can be exercise, not the “work”.

And I have to say, week three breezed on by. My brain was saying “you can do this” during the workouts and smiling at the end of the hour. It’s a totally different ball game, now. Unless I just jinxed it all by writing that.

So now, in the middle of week four, the stationary bike doesn’t make me want to cry (the trainer dude even noticed that I was up out of the saddle for the “hill” climbing portion of the session and gave me a thumbs up), and my mental approach to every station is “you can do this” and with short breaks and modification, it gets done.

Today I decided that I’m going to sign up for the next six week course, because this isn’t about sprinting through a workout for six weeks; this is about re-learning how to enjoy exercise and transforming my body AND mind at the same time. Ugh, that sounds so lame. Next thing you know I’ll have it printed on a artisinal coffee mug for sale in my Etsy shop.

On another note, I come to work directly after my workouts and seem to always forget to bring something from home. One day it was undergarments (!!!), another it was shoes (thanks to Old Navy across the street for supplying some new ones), another day it was my dress (had to drive home and get it), and today it was my hairbrush. I have A LOT of hair and to not be able to brush it after a sweaty work out and try to look even sort of put together for work is pretty impossible. Thank god for French braids.