The warmest (and longest) summer we’ve ever had is happening now. In October. And has been since September. So hot, and so sweaty for so long, but don’t worry about climate change! The polar bears are FINE! 😦

I’ll share a little something with you; I’ve been having hot flashes every day for the past five or six weeks – perfectly timed to coincide with our super solar heat wave. Yay! Let me tell you, this makes for some long nights. During the day I can pretty much deal with it, but at night with the electric fan chugging along trying to cool down two sticky bodies and a fur coated cat, let’s just say the nights are miserable.

Last night I was woken up every two hours with an intense heat that starts in my torso and radiates through the rest of my body up into my brain. As it radiates it triggers anxiety about everything my doomsday imagination can latch onto: the plight of the polar bears, what people are thinking as their plane is crashing from thirty-thousand feet, that I forgot to turn off the propane grill so now we’ll breathe it in and die in our sleep, that if there’s an earthquake at that moment I have no clothes on and none nearby so I will be naked in the aftermath, that I’ll be alone and penniless in my old age, that the hot flash is actually some form of nuclear hot cancer, that someone I love will die in a tragic accident, and on and on. It’s as if the hot flash occurs solely to trigger every scary thought I’ve ever had. And then when I finally sleep, I wake up from nightmares. Ugh.

A new development is that after the night time hot flashes, I’ve been getting intense cold flashes. I mean REALLY cold. You’d think the cold would feel good in these current hot nights, but it doesn’t. It’s a cold that comes from inside me, not an outside source. It’s as if the origin of this ice blast is my bone marrow and an over compensation to the surrounding heat. No number of heavy blankets on top of me will stop it. It’s quite awful, to be honest. Once the cold flash ends I have a brief period of time when I am lulled into a half sleep of nightmares only to be woken an hour or so later by another wave of heat from the general air and from my body and the cycle starts all over again.

I’m so tired today. This week has been hell in the sleep department. It might be time to get a prescription sleep aid. I’m not ready to do the hormone treatment thing yet (Pride? Still thinking I’m younger than I am? Stupidity?), but I am doing the herbal hormone treatment thing. It takes a while to kick in, but I’m optimistic.

All of this venting about hot/cold flashes was to lead into a story about working out last night. So picture this: I went to work out for the last session of the day, after the workout space has had a few hundred bodies in it throughout the 85 degree day, all sweating and breathing and OMG sweating in this room. I showed up at 6:15 and the room was warm. It was cardio night which means we were about to get REALLY warm. We started working out and half way through I got so hot I thought I was going to throw up. I must have been be having a hot flash, but there was no discrepancy between my body heat and the heat of the room. I reached a point that felt like the space between my workout pants and my skin was flowing with liquid magma. I stopped high kicking toward the ceiling while balancing a ball on my head or whatever the hell we were doing and put my hands on my knees. I rested for a minute, had a long drink of water, then was back at it and I completed the whole thing, which was a minor miracle. I actually started laughing at one point because it was so ridiculously hot and my face was tomato red.

Tonight after work I’m going back for more. I’ll be wearing running shorts (no more lycra pants) and a looser fitting cotton T-shirt to help with the heat factor. If I could, I’d like to work out in my bikini, but dear God the visual of all that visible jiggling… No.

The original point of this post was only to say, “Hey it’s week four, my shoulders and biceps are much more defined (go shoulders!), I’m still working out, and I hate theΒ  stationary bike with all my heart” and then it turned into this totally TMI hormone rant, but whatever, my brain is fried. So, thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Rock On.