trapeze

Well, hey there! Let me just get this out of the way right up front – I’ve neglected my blog for a really long time. Some days the thought of logging in to make a post paralyses me, so I do nothing until I have a sparkling, self-absorbed thought that I think will make a great post, think about logging in and then it’s back to paralysis. It’s a circle, man. And not a productive one.

So, you may be asking, what brings me here today? Why did I go through getting a new password to log-in to my blog because it’s been so long I’d forgotten the old one? The answer is time. Time has been paramount on my mind lately. Maybe it was the birthday of epic proportions that happened a couple of months ago. Okay, not maybe; that was the catalyst for sure. It’s just I’ve come to realize (along with a kajillion other people having monumental birthdays) that I don’t have that much time left to do a lot of the things I want to do. In fact it occurred to me the other day that there are things I want to do that I may never do. And that’s a first. I’ve always thought that I could and would do everything I’ve ever wanted, one way or another. There has always been an open ended future in my mind, an infinite horizon to chase, but in the last few weeks I’m realizing that the horizon isn’t retreating anymore; it’s getting closer.

It’s quite possible that I will never see the pyramids in Egypt, or live for a year in Italy/Spain/Scotland/France. It’s possible that I may never own a home again. It’s possible that I will not live in a Chateau in 19th century France and read books under a shade tree next to a river while wearing a flouncy dress. It’s possible that I may never live in a place that has snow.  It’s quite possible that there will not be a stack of books with my name on the spine in the window of the book store next door.

While there are many things I may never do there are a hundred more that I will do in the time I have left (and honestly just writing that I may never do some of those things above only spurs me on to actually making it all happen). The thing is not to waste any more time and logging into this blog today was my first step in moving toward that horizon. It’s going to be an exciting year, this 2016. Already, I can feel the trapeze swinging me out in an arc across my life and myself beginning to turn and face the oncoming space between the now and the what’s next.

On a separate note, I originally intended to post about my ongoing work-out story. There has been little change (IN SIX MONTHS, WTH!), nothing dramatic in the body-fat loss department, but my God, the muscles! I totally have a ripped six pack – it’s just hidden under some very jiggly, albeit soft as silk, wine-fortified fat. And I will beat you at arm wrestling! Probably. This week I will have worked out six times. SIX! A year ago I was working out MAYBE once a week, so there’s that.

I can only think that the timing of all of this strength and endurance-building of my body is no coincidence; it is the physical foundation for all the obstacle courses coming up in the next few years. And I’m ready, this time.

End Note: I just re-read the list of things “I may never do” and my reaction is, That’s a bunch of crap. I’ll do all of those things – including transporting myself to another century and living in a French Chateau…

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