In the dark, he whispered in my ear, “This is how we make it right.”
I relaxed into the warmth of his breath in my ear and the understanding of what he said. It was right. No drama, no rushing, no messing it up this time. His words implied, to me, taking it slow with lots of deep breaths in between each action, to be clear of our intentions and placement of feelings, hands, and words.
And isn’t that what we all try to do in real time? The previous passage came in dream time, twenty years after the physical face time. If we can reconcile the past in our dreams, this was that time.
It made me think about the future, but it also made me think about the man that I knew then and what I know now is that he has cancer. What kind and at what stage is unclear, except that he had a bone marrow transplant and I’m thinking that when that happens, things are pretty serious. He was a big love in my life. And he came to me last night in a dream or three. I would wake up and then it would continue. There’s something to be said for that, the multiple dreams of one person in one night. Do you ever have that? What does it mean?
It makes me think that I have been stupid; running through my life, so unsure and all the while putting off the vibes of “I know it all” and “I can move on” and “so much of my life is ahead of me”.
Did we meet too soon? I think we all meet the exact right time we need to meet and learn what we need to learn. But really, I question the timing of the universe sometimes.
Midnight dreams can stick like cotton candy through the rest of the waking day; cloying, pulling, reminding, and asking “what if, what if?”
Be here now and enjoy the people around you with all your heart no matter what is the over-all message of this post. So there.