Dear JANE AUSTEN,
Tonight, I took your ACTION FIGURE out of the box. It’s fabulous, but it does have its limitations.
First off, I don’t think I mentioned the back of the box in my first post. Here it is.
Basically, it’s a Cliff Notes version of your life, so probably not very interesting to you and Cliff isn’t a very detailed writer.
Here you are fresh from your plastic enclosure. It took a Swiss Army knife to get you out!
That’s supposedly a quill you’re holding, but it really does look like a dagger. I mean, I guess you could use it as such if needed. It’s hard plastic.
I was curious about the actual ACTION that was applied to your figure. Here is a shot of your legs beneath the dress. Sorry, I know it’s not a very modest picture.
It was a bit disappointing, as I thought you would have wheels for feet or something more action-y. Your legs move very slightly, just enough to keep you balanced and upright.
I had been imagining winding you up and watching you zoom across my desk with your dagger quill raised in salutation. But the action seems to be limited to arm bending and hip swiveling.
You can bend your elbows to make some sassy poses, though. I like that.
The book that came in the package with you is PRIDE AND PREJUDICE. Would you have chosen another? Which would you have liked to see immortalized in plastic?
They also supplied a writing desk. It’s hard to read what is on the fake piece of paper, but then my eyes are bad. Is that your handwriting?
And not to seem like an obsessed stalker or anything, but I found a copy of SENSE AND SENSIBILITY at my locally owned bookstore yesterday and had to buy it even though I already have a tattered copy. Look how pretty it is!
You may not believe this, but these days it is rare you come across a cloth-bound book. Crazy, right? There are also books that have no actual pages at all, they are virtual. You can download all of your books for something like a pound. But don’t even get me started on that whole phenomenon.
Anyway, this copy has a nice red ribbon book mark. And the cover page (real paper!) is great. Do you recognize it?
You must have been so excited when you first saw it. I hope my book (no, I haven’t written it yet) includes the line “BY A LADY”.
I hope you like your ACTION FIGURE, limited in action though it is. I like it. And I’ll keep it nearby when I’m trying to write something. Anything. And if ever I need to defend myself, I’ll just borrow your quill and do some damage.