Today I want to give a shout out to the women in my life. The last few months have been really fucking hard – disruptive, stressful, sad, anxious, lame. All of it. I realized the other day as I was lying on the table getting a facial by a woman who is helping me with my Middle of Life skin (Thanks, Dee-dee!) that I am really fortunate in the women who surround me in life. They have stepped-up in ways that, I feel, have saved my life; saved it from becoming a dark and lonely world to inhabit. Each of them are a unique light that ignites a part of me. They have infused me with hope and have offered healing. So, today I’m taking to the interwebs to globally acknowledge these incredible people.
Anny – without her help five years ago, I wouldn’t be anywhere close to the frequency of life that I now inhabit, even in the face of trauma. She helped me shift the poles of my very soul, so that they were in a more beneficial alignment.
My mom, Sassa, and my sisters; Jen, Pam, Lin – for fighting for me and defending me and being protective of me. For not judging me for the trail of wreckage left behind from my difficult relationships. For moving my crap from house to house to house. For sending texts of encouragement. For checking in. For being a bonus set of friends I can turn to at any time and know you will be there to pour me a glass of wine, settle in and listen to whatever drama might have happened that day. Or bring me a good book. Or cook a delicious dinner. Or make me some tea. Or play Cards Against Humanity until midnight. Who say things like, “Whatever you need, just let me know” and I know if I ask, you will make it happen.
Barbara – who offered me a peaceful, private, and comfortable place to land when the shit hit the fan. And who also loves British crime dramas, old movies, Outlander, and the Hallmark channel. Who laughs at my crappy sense of humor and makes me feel like I am funny. Who feels my sadness and participates fully in my joy. She’s a person who does SO much for everyone, especially her family and that she includes me in that circle has been a lifetime gift; the least selfish person I know.
The Art Girls – Connie, Nicole, Monica. You are constant reminders and my personal examples of how to be kind and thoughtful in the world. You have embraced me as a friend, fed me good food, included me in events and outings. You’ve made beautiful art for the gallery, but especially for me – the art that surrounds me in my new space is all by you three and Holli. Your art reminds me every day of beauty in the world and the beauty in the women who created it. I treasure our times together, more than you know.
Jenny – your workout program began at a time for me when I really needed it, both physically and emotionally. Your messages rang true in my gut, even when I didn’t want them to. The constant reminder that we need to love ourselves more. That our energy matters. That if something isn’t working, change it or move on. For that one day when you hugged me even though I was all sweaty and I started crying and you said, You’ve got some big shit going on in your life. And I said Yes. And you said, Well, I love you. And I’ll be sending you love all day. That was a small miracle that shifted something in me. Thank you.
Monika – chiropractor and healer. Lady, you have literally fixed me. I cried the day I came in to see you after having intense neck pain for a week and you put your hands on me and the pain was gone. I cried because of the relief, but also because you reminded me how good it feels to have someone take care of ME for a change. Neck, hip, and knee – all healed. A miracle of goodness.
Lisa – yes, I am thanking my gynecologist. You would too, if you knew her. She REALLY cares about women’s health. She genuinely cares about her patients. When I last spoke with her, she was giving me the results of some blood work (all good). I mentioned a bit about what had been going on with me recently – why the blood work hadn’t been done sooner. She was silent for a moment and then said, Take care of yourself. You are so strong. You are a warrior woman. What gynecologist says that? Plus, she’s funny as heck. So thanks, Lisa, for being one warrior woman yourself. And for threatening to call me every day until I had a mammogram appointment (it’s next month, I swear!).
Emilie – light and bright, direct and no nonsense. Clear. Strong. You sat with me for 8 hours (WHO DOES THAT?) on a sunny afternoon when you could have been anywhere else, while I told my sad tales and drank all your mom’s whiskey. You made me laugh. You sent me awesome follow-up texts. You helped me move all my crap ( and dragged your sweet man into that mess) when, again, you could have been doing anything else on a beautiful Sunday morning, but you chose to help me. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Leah – for being a great director and an awesome organizer. For taking time out of your supposed-to-be-relaxing weekend to move my shit. And for Jennie for watching the boy so you could help. You saved my ass – and my back. You made me laugh on a horrible day. Forever grateful for that. (prayer hands) 😉
Liz – for reaching out. For acting with integrity while respecting and recognizing mine.
Murphy – for blowing kisses, for toddling over to sit in my lap this morning. For putting your hand on my cheek and looking at me with big, solemn eyes. For saying the word POP, because it makes me laugh every time.
Miss – I could write a whole blog post. For listening to my crap for 30 some years. For always picking up the pieces. For always supporting even when you didn’t really want to. For speaking up. For reality checks and making sense of chaos. For your compassion for the human experience. For being a warrior for and teaching us all about communication and truth. For making me laugh and for having two babies. For not judging me as you watched me go through some really stupid times in my life. For meeting with G. For making cakes and frosting from scratch just to do something creative at the end of a long day, the end result being something beautiful. And then sharing it.
Ana – for being there in that moment when the moving chaos overwhelmed me and I threw a boot at the closet and stated THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID and that you were there to catch me before I crumpled to the floor in tears and held me up as I sobbed. And for when you got between a crying (again) me and an angry man in the U-haul parking lot, ready to go to battle if necessary (so funny now in retrospect, not funny in the moment). For dropping everything and making a plan when I needed something, but didn’t know what that something was. For Phoe. For bravely watching your parent fall apart and not retreating in fear, but advancing in love and support. For living your life the way you do. Forever grateful that I get to be a part of your world.
FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR YOU ALL.