Every time I think about writing on this blog the absolute un-importance of what I want to write compared to all that is going on in the world stops me from writing. There are so many causes to champion, politics to dissect, abandoned animals/children/humans that need saving, that writing about my ridiculous work-out journey seems pretty pathetic.
The disturbing images and videos that pop-up on Facebook, the headlines in the NY Times, the shouting and swearing and constant police sirens outside my place of work that barrage me every single day – all of these things I do recognize and acknowledge. I am aware. But here’s the thing – it may be that I care too much about all those other issues that I choose to write about the journey of exercising, kittens, and wine on this blog. I have no control over the outcome of those other issues, but here I have some control. This is a place for ease and a balm for me upon the abrasion of the rest of life that exposes itself to me every day. That’s why I write about what I do. For now.
This work-out journey has become something else to me besides just working out. It is challenging me physically, but it’s also a lesson in the-rest-of-myself awareness. Why don’t I give this program 110% effort? Why, when I complain about not losing any weight while exercising, do I not incorporate the eating plan that, at no extra cost, comes along with the program? And how does that half-assed engagement manifest itself in every other area of my life? Why am I playing the game of life at, say, 85% of my potential with my creative potential working at about 40% when I have the goods to be busting out at 120%? What is that about?
For a blog post that started out defending itself for being lighthearted and saccarine, it just got pretty real. So, to lighten the mood, here is one of my favorite current videos.
After the revelation that maybe I need to be doing this workout regimen 100%, I took on the task of following the weekly menu plan at least for this week while the significant other is out of town. It’s all foods I normally eat anyway, but I’m figuring the portions are smaller, therefore less calories at the end of the day.
They also suggest keeping a food diary, which sounds like a big fat bore to me, but apparently tracking what you eat can make you more likely to NOT eat something knowing you have to write it down. So, yesterday I bit the bullet and recorded my daily meals; smoothie for breakfast, salad with all kinds of veggies for lunch, hummus and veggies for a snack, an apple, and a spicy chicken breast over cabbage salad thing for dinner. It all went on the list. Including the extra rice cake with almond butter I had after dinner. I hesitated before I wrote TWO GLASSES OF WINE at the end of my list, but I thought it was kind of funny (and true)! I went out with my sister earlier in the evening and it’s not an option to not have wine with sisters. So WHATEVER, food list, don’t judge me.
It’s becoming more clear every day that the winds of change are starting to whisper in my ear, and my need to step up and be involved 100% in that change is becoming clear as well. Part of it is committing 100% to my physical activities, because my physically strong self will the help build the mentally strong self. Moving my body in a forward motion will bring the rest of myself along with it.
We’ll see what tonight’s food list ends with. Maybe just a lonely rice cake. Or maybe…not.